Today when I picked Cameron up from school his teacher let me know that he was one of several boys who had difficulty with their hands today. Translation = he hit. Another boy hit Cameron and Cameron hit him back. Both boys, and the other's who were hitting all had time outs. The teacher spoke to all of the Mom's about the issues. After picking him up from school I decided to head to the gym. They have a nice child care room and the kids don't mind hanging out while I work out. When we arrived at the gym I realized that one of the boys from Cameron's class was already there. The first thing Josh (named changed to protect the innocent -ha!) said was, "I saw you hit ______ at school today." Cameron just kind of ignored him and I went up to Josh and said, "Mrs. T took care of it at school and spoke to me about it. I'm Cameron's Mom and we'll handle this at home." Josh seemed to accept that as an answer and asked Cameron to play.
Wouldn't that be an ideal solution. If we could all just learn to get along. Well, here's what really happened...
Josh did say to Cameron I saw you hit _______ at school today and Cameron did ignore him. But, I did not tell Josh that Cameron's parents would take care of it. I didn't say anything and for the ENTIRE 40 minutes I was walking I was stewing over it. I was so mad at myself for not saying anything to Josh. I kept thinking that I am 99% sure that Josh had a issue with hands today and how come Cameron didn't bring that up to him back. When I asked Cameron about Josh hitting today he didn't know anything about it. So much for Mr. Observant! I burned off some good calories getting worked up about me not handling the situation. I cut short my walking because I had the fear that Josh was still giving Cameron a hard time about what happened at school. I went back into the child care room and was surprised. There was Josh and Cameron sitting next to each other watching a movie. I don't think this makes them fast friends but at least the issue wasn't being discussed like a world summit like I envisioned. That's the thing about kids - they let things go so much easier than adults. Maybe I did learn something after all. But, I still wish I would have said something to Josh! :)
A Slow Cooker Thanksgiving
4 weeks ago
Over and over again, I remember my boys doing the same thing - just making nice and moving on like it never happened. I remember my mom reminding me that I used to do the same thing too whenever I didn't get along with Mike, Bill, Ron, Ken, and yes ... even Dale! Girls on the other hand ... ;o)
ReplyDeleteThat's what I love about having a boy. Everything seems to roll off his back. What I forgot to say is that Cam only hit the boy after the boy first hit him. It's so hard to explain that the one who reacts back to a problem is usually the one who gets in trouble. Hard lesson to learn.
ReplyDeleteThe lesson is you can only deal with your child, not someone else's. The take away lesson is Cameron needs to deal with his peers and you need to deal with Cameron. You can help him react to mean people by telling the teacher or you or ignoring them. The discussion that needed to be had was with Cameron as to how to better react to the hitter. I think he did a pretty good job with the kid at the gym on his own and needs to be congratulated. He will probably spend a lot of time with him in the future and I think he chose a wise path. I doubt there was that much thought put into it at his age, but he's seen at home that you don't need to make an issue out of everything.
ReplyDeleteEverything is a learning opportunity if it is used that way, or an excuse to freak out. Your choice.
Both Mike and I had healthy discussions with him about what he did wrong. He kept saying "but he hit me first." We still let him know that it wasn't ok. He had the Wii taken away today and I am thinking about making him write a one line apology to the boy. The part that I feel the worst about is that he hit the boy who just had the birthday party the day before!! The party where he had so much fun. In hind sight I am glad that I didn't say anything to the gym boy.
ReplyDelete